Fights man? I have been in more fights than a rider in a rodeo! Like, last week I had to fight some mean old mother hubbard that was trying to take one of mah girls. His face now has a imprint the size of my wrench dawg!
Mah favourite map is easy dawg. Its 2Fort. Lots of ammo, can shoot up bitches and I have the best time with mah homies.
Naw, I haven’t been shot yet homes. Although I have had to deal with that dumb ass Spy with his art shiznit. He had some show that involved drawing his french faggy crap onto a building. My part was to make the building explode. This required a significant amount of explosives to be made, which made JJ cry like a small girl, and an explosive trigger that required seventeen diodes from China.
Yeah. So we blew shit up and it was ace. Then we picked up some bitches. It was grand.
((Real world was kicking my ass - I do apologise for the delay - Im going to work through all of these ASAP))
Sorry dawg! I was chillin with that crazy bitch down the street. She was all ‘show me your gun boy’ and I had to oblige. Hard to build a sentry when all you got is some hos. Had to go strip down a buick down the street. Was not too good. She was all ‘No I meant your ‘gun”. So I went and upgraded it to a Level 2. She totally was all - ‘Show me your dick!’. I was all ‘Ho gurl - no way you gonna touch mah pants Engineer!’ and ran like hell. Damn hos are damn weird dawg
But to you question! When we get all hot and in the face, and there be cusses and homies all swearin, we sort it out like homies should. We play the gun game. We get a gun and shoot the other one. BAM. Whoever walks away was the winner. Unless its at me, then BAM there goes a knee. Bastard can’t run. So we use a wrench to make sure that he can’t go to the donut munchers and rat us out.
But if its over hos, we homies just remember. Homies before hos.
Peace out dawg
Just checkin in to see you dawgs. You be alright. Following me round, might induct you to mah home boys. Ignore that bastard Pimp Spy, we ain’t no arse ranchers. So you be safe with us.
Oh yeah, some of my peeps been asking me the lowdown. That be cool. So keep it up homies!
I’m off to visit my homie Jay-Jay. He tells me he has some great shit for blowing up anyone who disses my peeps.
You be so right there brah! Spahs like to sap mah shit. They put it on mah sentries and on mah dispensers and BAM. Breaking mah babies.
So I break them. With mah wrench.
No bitch ass Spah can live through a beatin with mah wrench. If they go all invisible, then we go to their mommas house. And we sap her sentry.. if you know what I mean.
What are you asking? If I would choose my homie over a bitch?
Your homies help you in a bind. Bitches are a pain.
God, that was a stupid question… your homies dawg!
Dawg, we keep our homies close as we can. Spy be pimpin, making the arts for the world or something.
That cyclops makes some special ammunition for me, as well as meth that we sell. We chill once in a while. He still wears his dresses and lives with his mum.
Damn Ruski went to the mafia. He is a loanshark and a crook. But he be chill with us, so no need to visit with the boys
The German still ‘practices’ medicine. He chops up the dumb asses that walk through the door. Sometimes, when a homie is hurt, we visit him.
Sniper lives in his van. His van is a cardboard box. Idiot lost it all gambling. Still sometimes use him, can still cap an ass a mile away. We feed him, but he won’t live with us. Doesn’t like not being in his van.
Soldier, he just vanished dawg. No one knows where he is. I reckon he’ll show up one day. Same with Pyro.
Scout is a, and Im not shitting you here, a big time lawyer. Little brat found that running his mouth off had a purpose sometime. He still rings and shit, bails us out when we need it. He be cool.
If Im not chillin with my homies, or banging the ladies, I sit with Pimp Spy. We watch some telly. Chat about his art crap.
Or I work on my designs. Can be a chill homie but sometimes you need to reinvent to keep one step ahead of your competition, you dig?